Most people know listening is important, but a lot of us (especially those of us with a little social anxiety) end up in our heads, over-thinking things.
The problem is that when we’re stuck in our heads, it’s too hard to follow along with the conversation.
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For example, if you asked why I — a coach here — love The Art of Charm, take the opportunity to think about what it would be like to be standing in front of a room full of people struggling with social anxiety.
What is it like to be the person standing in the spotlight?
It’s also hard to be “in the moment” and it makes it almost impossible to read body language.
Now obviously, if you have that anxiety, you’re going to have to chip away at that stone slowly. You’ll slowly be able to see yourself getting better at being more present in the moment.
The easiest way to give someone value is to allow them to feel heard. The third thing I want you to focus on when you’re listening is the emotional undertone of the person speaking.
And men, we especially struggle with this, because we get too focused on the logic and we miss out on the emotions.
That means actually following along with what’s being said and making sure you’re adding to the conversation, not just reframing questions or rephrasing things.
Try to make sure you know the direction the conversation is going.
” Open-ended questions allow the other person to elaborate and show off their personality. The important thing here is to practice using empathy.
Allow yourself to see what it would be like to be in their shoes.
Being present does not mean queueing up what you’re going to say next or thinking ahead to where you can take the conversation; it’s being truly engaged and allowing yourself to follow along naturally.